How to deal with social anxiety

Many people feel nervous in social situations, especially if the spotlight is on you.

If you’re giving a speech at a wedding or presenting ideas at work, you’ll likely feel anxious. However, for people with social anxiety, the fear of being scrutinised can be all-consuming.

Around 11 per cent of Australians experience social anxiety during their lifetime1. If you think you, or someone you know, falls into this bracket, read on.

Social anxiety is a mental health condition in which interactions with other people trigger intense anxiety.

For some, being the focus of other people’s attention can be seriously distressing, to the point that they avoid social situations so as not to feel scrutinised or judged.

Social anxiety manifests in a feeling of intense fear and can include physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, blushing, perspiration and trembling.

“There are several factors that can explain why someone experiences social anxiety,” says Bupa Mindplace psychologist Felicity Burgmann. “The origins of social anxiety can occur from genetic, developmental, cognitive, stress and environmental components.”

Here’s Felicity’s summary of the various contributory factors:

• Genetics. Some people have a genetic predisposition to anxiety disorders.
• Development. Growing up around anxious or overly critical caregivers might teach you to fear social situations.
• Cognitive. Negative thought patterns, such as fear of judgment or perfectionism, can exacerbate social anxiety.
• Stressful life events. Negative or traumatic social experiences, such as bullying or public rejection, can trigger an anxious response.
• Environment. Working in a high-pressure environment, such as one where you’re required to do a lot of public speaking, can increase social anxiety.

The most common trigger of social anxiety is the context of social situations and the belief systems associated with those environments.

A person may worry about being judged, embarrassed, humiliated or rejected.

Which may lead to a person withdrawing from certain situations that trigger their anxiety.

The fear of eating in public, known as deipnophobia, is also a form of social anxiety.

Other triggers include:

• Being watched or observed
• Dating or romantic situations
• Social gatherings or parties
• Public speaking
• Making small talk
• Meeting new people
• Worry about appearing different

It’s normal to feel a little nervous or shy at times. We all experience this. Dating, interviewing for a job or meeting someone you think is important are examples of situations where most people feel a little uneasy.

“The difference between shyness and social anxiety is clear when someone is actively engaging in avoidant strategies to manage their anxiety,” says Felicity. “When avoidant behaviours become the solution to manage work, friends and personal life, this can increase stress and wires the brain to cope and solve problems by avoiding others, which can be negatively impactful.”

“If you feel distressed when you cannot avoid a social situation, this may be more indicative of social anxiety rather than shyness.”

The short answer is yes, you can.

“It is possible to overcome social anxiety,” says Felicity. “Results vary depending on your supports, but with professional help from a psychologist, people typically have a greater chance at overcoming their social anxiety in a way that is safe, effective and long-lasting.”

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is currently the gold standard treatment for people with social anxiety. Psychologists use this therapy to provide tools and techniques that reduce socially anxious responses, build confidence and improve your overall quality of life.

“One of the most helpful ways of managing social anxiety is by gradually placing yourself in situations that you normally avoid,” says Felicity. “This is called graded exposure, and is best guided by a professional.”

Several other evidence-based therapies can also support you in overcoming social anxiety, such as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and compassion-focused therapy (CFT).

Supportive friends and family can be a big help to someone living with social anxiety, as they can provide objective observations after social interactions.

“The best approach is to be compassionate and supportive towards a friend or family member who experiences social anxiety,” says Felicity.

“Judging or pressuring a loved one to be social when they are not ready will likely negatively impact their confidence, ultimately perpetuating their social anxiety.”

“Reaching out, listening and offering a helping hand can create real positive change. When facing the world feels tough, loved ones can help bridge the gap to feel less alone, and ultimately more connected.”